Behind Every Face: Some Thoughts For The New Year

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Here are some things that I have been thinking about since before the start of the New Year:

1) The older I get, the more my past has to teach me. Because of that I don’t label a moment that I experience, as a present moment. It is simply a moment.

2) I was at dinner this past New Years Eve with some friends , when I was asked if I had any resolutions or new things I wanted to experience in 2015. I simply said no,much to everyone’s surprise. I have gotten away from trying to script any experiences for myself, because of the limitations that imposes. I simply prefer to be open to any experience that continues to be a teacher to me.

3) In the 27 years that I worked in substance abuse counseling I never came close to being a victim of physical violence. I think it was because I was respectful in all of my interactions with individuals with substance use disorder and tried to understand what motivated their actions in certain situations.

4) I was in New York earlier in December, at the time that protests were occurring over the grand jury decision in the Eric Garner case. I was walking in Rockefeller Center on Friday evening with my friend Patty Furino when we came across a black security guard with whom we immediately struck up a conversation. In the course of 15 minutes, we discovered that in the last six years of his life he had challenges resulting from homelessness and the death of his mother due to cancer. Yet he transcended those challenges through hard work, determination and an indomitable resolve. We can discover beauty and grace in the midst of challenging circumstances, all we need to do is commit to discovering it.

5) My encounter in New York reminds me of a line from a song by The Wallflowers: “Behind every face is the mask of another” and that regardless of outward appearance ,we are all cut from the same DNA. We are all truly one.

6) I had a brief dream visit from my daughter Jeannine last night. We were in the kitchen of our home. She looked beautiful and radiant, as I always remembered her . All she said to me is that : “We need to be up tomorrow by 4:00 am.” I haven’t yet searched for the meaning or symbolism of her words. If there is any meaning to her words,  it will be revealed to me in time. I was just happy that she wanted to visit.

7) There is truth and the illusion of truth. Both are crucial in shaping our life path.

8) There are individuals who disguise service to others as service to themselves, and there are individuals who are truly about the message and not ego. Learn to know the difference.

9) With the passage of every year, I am increasingly grateful that Jeannine chose me to be her father. With the passage of every year, I am increasingly grateful that my sons Dan and Matt,and Jeannine’s brothers, chose me to be their father.

10) I will end with a great quote that I discovered from a Facebook site called: Let the Wolves Run Free: ” Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others,because the world outside of you is only a reflection of the world inside of you.” I will continue to peck at my shadows.

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A Day of Rebirth……. For The Both of Us

The following piece was authored by Patty Furino, a dear and trusted friend and witness to my growth and rebirth in the aftermath of my daughter Jeannine’s death. Patty has also taught me that we continue to evolve by having those people of the highest level of thought in our support network.  As you will discover, Patty walks a sacred path with honor and integrity and she has helped many negotiate challenging transitions in their lives. I first met Patty in July of 2010 and spent a weekend with her in Long Island in November of 2010, and the wisdoms that she shared permanently redefined how I viewed my daughter Jeannine’s life and death. Jeannine truly did bring us together and was very present during that weekend in 2010. I am sure there will be more to come in the future on our shared experience. I also hope that this submission from Patty will be one of many that she will share on this blog. 


I awoke early this morning and felt an urgent call to revisit your essay entitled “A Day of Rebirth.” (http://thegrieftoolbox.com/article/day-rebirth) It led me to revisiting our thoughts from that first weekend together, so I decided to read our journals from the weekend. Looking back, Crow medicine filled my thoughts. The book Medicine Cards, by Native American, Jamie Sams, discussed how Crow Medicine reminds us to Honor our past as our teacher, Honor our present as our creation, and Honor our future as our Inspiration. It is still amazing to me when I look back and realize how Jeannine brought us together on 11/11/10 for a program entitled, “Embracing the Power of Change.” Little did we know how you were going to be doing just that! You have mentioned your weekend on Long Island in different blogs. Every time I read our journals from that weekend, I am reminded of how far you have come on your journey of remembering. Your blog is a beautiful testament to the wisdoms you have received as you remembered and transformed the painful memories. My wish is that each person creates a circle of people that witnesses and supports their own journey of remembering and eventual transformation. This is the way we can become a planet of wiser human beings. We have the ability to walk with an awareness of the lessons we can learn, through all the experiences our life brings. Many of us get caught in the drama of life, and never look for the path that can lead us to peace. You my dear friend, found the rays of sunshine peering through the trees as you walked down the dark path. You are an inspiration. When I was ordained in 1998 as an Interfaith Minister, I vowed to walk the path with honor and integrity. I chose to follow the motto of St. Francis, “ Make me an Instrument of Peace.” I made a commitment to use my connection to the Great Beyond, only in ways that I could be proud of. My goal has always been to inspire a peaceful prospective for people during their challenging times. Your essay is one of my proudest moments. From as far back as I can remember, I have always had conversations with my “wise friends on the other side.” Back in the 1960’s, I saw people who were put in mental institutions and subjected to shock treatments to clear away their imaginary friends. I was determined to find the balance between my connection to Spirit, and the journey in my ‘zip code’. I always trusted that God would bring me to the people who would not fear my gift and would connect with my knowing. I have journeyed through my life always walking in faith. I have always been mindful that this connecting is a gift from God, and should not be used as people’s entertainment. Your journey brings me great joy for it validates my mission on the earth. As you mentioned, spring is a time of renewal and rebirth. I feel it is finally time to come out of the shadows on my journey, and share how working with the Creative Source within each of us, can help anyone transform their perspective and find peace on earth. I thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts on your Bootsy and Angel Blog.